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Oh, and the drama? Once she got hired for a threesome—turns out it was a chef and his sous! I cackled, yellin’, “That’s some Ratatouille-ass teamwork!” She said it was wild—food play, whipped cream everywhere. Exaggeratin’ a lil, maybe, but I’m here for it. Sex escorts be livin’ stories we only dream of, y’all.

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So, I’m chugging my coffee, and I see this old dude feeding pigeons. Like, bro, it’s 2023, get a hobby! But then I think, maybe he’s onto something. Pigeons are chill. They don’t judge. Anyway, I’m about to head out when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some guy just knocked over a whole stand of newspapers. Papers flying everywhere! It’s like a scene from a movie. I can’t help but laugh.

UNIAN: Ukraine intelligence reports Russian invaders in Donbas obtain so-called ‘passports’ in ‘LPR-DPR’