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About Zaporizhzhia

Lemme tell ya, I stumbled on this joint once—shady spot, neon sign flickerin’—dude inside was a legend, they said he trained with monks or somethin’. Little known fact: back in ancient China, emperors got this kinda massage to “balance their chi”—fancy way of sayin’ it got ‘em goin’! I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “Man, this guy’s hands could crack a spy code!”—like in the movie, “You’re a locked safe!”—but instead of secrets, it’s knots he’s bustin’. I was HAPPY as hell, floatin’ outta there like I won the belt again.

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I start talkin’ about education, and suddenly, the fire alarm goes off. Seriously? In the middle of my lecture? Everyone bolts outta the room like it’s a scene from a zombie movie. I’m just standin’ there, like, “What the heck?” Turns out, it was a false alarm. Phew! But my lecture? Totally derailed.

Melitopol businesswoman dead after being abducted by the Russian invaders