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Funny bit—some profiles say “no hookups,” lol! Liars! Sex-dating’s *all* hookups, duh! Sarcasm aside, it’s a jungle. Met a chick who brought her parrot—squawked dirty words! Nearly died laughin’. “You don’t know me,” I told her, Jesse-style. She winked—night got crazier. Exaggeratin’? Maybe! But that’s the thrill, pals!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Ivan. He’s stuck at the marina. His boat’s driftin’ away! I’m like, “Dude, hold on!” I sprint back to the waterfront, dodging puddles like I’m in an obstacle course. I get there, and sure enough, his boat’s floatin’ off. I grab a rope, and we’re both yellin’ like madmen. Finally, I manage to lasso it. We’re high-fivin’ like we just won the lottery.

Viterra upgrades its oilseeds processing plant in eastern Ukraine