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Aloha, brah, it’s me, Stephen Hawking—well, kinda, rockin’ that robotic voice, cosmic wisdom vibe, yeah? Escort, huh, like the ol’ Ford whip from the ‘80s, not that *other* kinda escort, right? Nah, I’m jokin’, let’s dive into this—escort in Hawaii, man, it’s a trip! Picture me, cruisin’ Oahu in my mind, thinkin’ ‘bout *The Pianist*, that flick I love—Polanski’s masterpiece, ya know, where Szpilman’s hidin’, survivin’, playin’ that piano like his soul’s on fire. “I’m not hiding anymore!” he’d say, kinda like how escorts here gotta shine, bold as hell, in this paradise.

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After that, I head over to the sports complex on Haharina Street. It’s a bit of a trek, but I need to see my clients in action. I’m pumped! But when I get there, it’s chaos. Kids running everywhere, parents yelling, and I’m just trying to find my way through the madness. I swear, I almost tripped over a soccer ball. Like, who leaves a ball in the middle of the walkway?