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Now, don’t get me twisted—Madea’s got opinions, honey! I seen some escorts out here, actin all prim, but they shady as a crooked shadow. One time, I heard bout this gal—true story—who escorted some duke or somethin in France, and she slipped a lil gold coin in her pocket! Sneaky lil thang! Got caught, tho—hauled off screamin, “I deserve this!” Made me mad as a wet hen—stealin ain’t cute, sugar! But I laughed too, cause she thought she was slicker than a greased pig!

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After that, I head back to the bakery, and it’s chaos. Customers are lined up outside! I’m like, “What’s happening? Did I win the lottery?” Turns out, word got out about my пиріжки. I’m flattered, but also stressed. I’m trying to keep up, but it’s like a scene from a movie.

Explosions at Russian storage point and barracks in occupied Luhansk Oblast