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So, picture this – some gal or dude, hands slick with oil, slidin’ over ya like they’re paintin’ a dang masterpiece. I seen it once, got me hollerin’ “Git-R-Done!” in my head, ‘cause it’s slow, teasin’, builds up like Grace in “Dogville” waitin’ for them townsfolk to show their true colors. Ain’t no quick chiropractor crack here, naw, it’s a whole dang ceremony! Little factoid for ya – them ancient Greeks? They was into this, called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ down athletes all sexy-like after wrestlin’. Bet they didn’t tell ya that in school, huh?

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Finally, I make it to my office on Avenue de la Gare. I sit down, ready to crunch some numbers. But then, my computer decides to throw a tantrum. It freezes. I’m like, “Really? You too?” I swear, I could hear it laughing at me. So, I spend the next hour trying to fix it. Spoiler alert: I didn’t.

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