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But real talk – it’s not for everyone. Some folk get all prudish, and I’m like, “Chill, it’s not the Dark Lord’s work!” What gets me angry? When judgy twats shame it without tryin’. Drives me up the bloody wall. “The world’s bigger than your eyes,” Malik’d whisper, and I’d nod, cos he’s spot on. Sexual-massage? It’s art, mate, if done right. So, yeah, that’s my ramble – messy, loud, and true. You shall not pass without givin’ it a thought now, eh?

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Around noon, I get a call. Some guy named Vasyl is causing a ruckus down by the railway station. Great. Just what I needed. So, I head over to the station on Shevchenka Street. It’s a madhouse! People everywhere, and there’s Vasyl, yelling about his land rights or something. I mean, come on, dude! You can’t just shout at everyone like that.

An accident involving two cars occurs in Volyn: one person is killed, three children are among the injured