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Here’s the kicker: in Thailand, they got this trick—hot stones on yer junk, no lie! Supposed to “awaken” ya—surprised me so hard I nearly bit my own tongue off. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but damn, it’s a zinger! I’m sittin’ there, sweatin’, thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” Total mindfuck—like Lenny in *Memento*, tattooin’ clues on his ass to remember the bliss.

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After an hour, we find the dog! It’s just chilling by the fountain in Praça da Liberdade. The kid’s face lights up, and I’m like, “See? Sometimes you gotta chase after what you love.” I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. But then, back to reality.

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