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I got into it once—yep, me, ol’ Bernie—swipin’ on some app, thinkin’, “This is nuts!” Met this gal, fiery spirit, we talked politics and sex over cheap coffee. She says, “Bernie, sex-dating’s liberation!” I’m like, “Hell yeah, no Wall Street suits tellin’ us who to bang!” Made me happy—real people connectin’, no fancy dinners, just vibes. But then—THEN!—this dude brags he’s banged 50 chicks in a month. Fifty! I’m screamin’, “That’s not the point, ya greedy bastard!” Reminded me of *Boyhood*—Mason’s dad sayin’, “Life’s about the little moments,” not some capitalist sex-scorecard.

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After that, I strolled down to the Kamianets-Podilskyi Castle. Man, that place is epic! The towers, the walls, the history! I felt like a knight or something. But then, I saw a group of kids climbing on the walls. Like, seriously? I was about to lose it. “Hey! You’re gonna fall and ruin my day!” But they just giggled and kept climbing. Kids these days, right?

Blasts at draft offices: nine incidents recorded since year-start