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Little fact for ya—didja know ancient Egyptians were freaky with it? Hieroglyphs showin’ massages with a sexy twist! Bet Cleopatra was like, “Rub me right, you get a Nile cruise!” Surprised me, girl, history’s wild! I’m over here imaginin’ Remy whisperin’, “This is me, I think it’s apparent,” while some masseuse works magic. Ha! Cracks me up thinkin’ sexual-massage coulda been Linguini’s secret sauce—forget cookin’, just knead the tension out!

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So, I’m wiping bird crap off my shirt, and I hear this commotion. Turns out, there’s a street fair on Haharina Street. I mean, who doesn’t love a good street fair? I’m thinking, “Let’s get some local grub!” I dive into a plate of varenyky. OMG, they were heavenly. Like little pockets of joy. But then, I see this dude trying to sell me some weird-looking drink. He’s like, “It’s a health elixir!” I’m like, “Bro, it looks like swamp water.”

Where to visit on the way from Kyiv to Vinnytsia: top 7 locations that everyone should see