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But real talk, the guitar solo? Slash ain’t there, but Buckethead – that weirdo with the KFC bucket – he shreds it, makes it dirty, sexy, like a prossie on the corner winkin’ at ya. Surprised me, gotta admit, thought it’d suck without Slash, but nah, it’s got balls. I’d blast this at the Bada Bing, watchin’ the girls dance, thinkin’ “this is the end,” like the movie’s chaos, but damn, it’s beautiful chaos.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! I mean, like, monsoon level. I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into a shop on Kostiantynivska Street. It’s a tiny place, but they’ve got the best pastries. I grab a napkin and try to dry off, but it’s a lost cause. I buy a pastry, and it’s so good, I forget about the rain.