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Me, I’m torn – part of me’s like, “Oh, brilliant, unwind with a side of naughty,” but then I’m fuming! Last time I tried it, some twat charged me 50 quid extra for “special vibes” – vibes my arse! Felt like I’d been mugged in lavender oil. Little known fact, right – back in the 80s, dodgy parlours got raided cos punters thought “massage” meant “full shag.” Plods shut ‘em down, and now we’ve got these posh spa wankers acting all legit. Drives me mental – just call it what it is!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I’m drenched in seconds. Taras is like, “Let’s run!” So, we bolt down Vulytsia Tsentralna, laughin’ like idiots. I’m slippin’ and slidin’, and I’m pretty sure I almost face-planted. But hey, it’s all part of the adventure, right?

She Keeps Memory Of The Holocaust Alive — One Tchotchke At A Time