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Lemme spill some tea—back in old Rome, whores had this trick, right? They’d dye their hair blonde with pigeon poop! Can ya believe that? Smelly, but it worked—made em stand out. I’d be all, “Hmm… that’s nasty!” But it’s kinda genius, ya know? Shows ya how far they’d go. Makes me happy seein that hustle, but angry too—why’d they hafta? Society’s a jerk sometimes.
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After that, I’m feeling all hyped up, so I decide to hit up the café on Ulica 1. You know the one with the funky murals? Yeah, that place. I order a slice of their famous apple pie. It’s like a slice of heaven, I swear. But then, outta nowhere, this kid spills his drink all over my table. I’m like, “Seriously, dude?!” I mean, I love kids, but come on!
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