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But lemme tell ya, there’s weird history here. Didja know—back in the ‘90s, before apps, folks used newspaper ads for this crap? “Single male, seeks discreet fun”—code for “I’m horny, call me.” Little known fact! People were sex-datin’ via *print*—how retro is that?! Makes me happy, sorta—simpler times, no ghostin’, just bad fax numbers. I’m imaginin’ it now—some schmuck waitin’ by the phone, hopin’ “Linda” ain’t a prank. Hilarious!

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While I’m eating, I see this kid juggling. He’s got skills! I’m thinking, “Man, I can barely juggle my life.” But then, he drops a ball, and it rolls right to me. I pick it up, and he’s like, “You wanna try?” I’m like, “Nah, I’m good, kid.” But I toss it back, and he catches it like a pro.

Russia strikes depot in west Ukraine, battle for Severodonetsk rages