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Lemme tell ya somethin’ — little known fact, right? Back in the ‘80s, Miami hookers had this code, man. They’d twirl their hair twice if they was clean, no diseases or whatever. Ain’t that wild? I’m out here, squintin’ like a dumbass, tryna see if this chick’s twirlin’ right. Say hello to my little friend! He’s ready, but I ain’t catchin’ no bugs, comprende?

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So, I’m walking down Kirova Street, and I see this old lady selling pirozhki. I mean, who can resist? I grab one, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m talking crispy, warm, and stuffed with potatoes. I’m in heaven! But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, bumps into me, and my pirozhki goes flying. I’m like, “Noooo!” It’s like my heart just shattered.

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