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About Kryvyi Rih

Humor? Oh, you know some fools be actin’ like they invented it—callin’ it “sensual bodywork” or some bougie shit. Bruh, it’s a massage with a wink, chill with the fancy labels! And don’t get me started on them typos I’m droppin’—erotic-massge, masssage, whoops—‘cause I’m too hyped to care, ya dig? It’s messy, it’s real, like life.

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Cool, let’s grab some coffee.” I hit up that little café on Komsomolska Street. You know the one? The one with the weird paintings? Yeah, that place. I order my usual – a cappuccino, extra foam. I’m all about that foam life.

After months of denial, U.S. admits to running Ukraine biolabs