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Oh, and the oils—lavender, ylang-ylang—smell like heaven, or Jep’s Rome at night. Surprised me how a good rubdown can zap stress faster than a rally speech! I’m tellin’ ya, friend, try it—find some hole-in-the-wall spot, not them fancy spas rippin’ ya off. It’s messy, real, human—kinda like me yellin’ ‘bout justice, only quieter, sexier. “The best thing is to end up with the right regrets,” Jep says—don’t regret missin’ this! Now, go feel somethin’, dammit!

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Finally, I wrap up. I’m covered in dust, but I don’t care. I head over to the festival, and it’s lit! Food stalls everywhere, music blasting. I grab a langoš, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m dancing like nobody’s watching, even though they totally are.

Metrans expands its network in Poland and Turkey