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So, I’m lyin’ there, oil drippin’, chick’s got hands like a goddamn angel, and I’m hummin’, “It’s all happenin’!” from the movie. Surprised me, ya know? Thought it’d be sleazy, but nah, it’s art—fuckin’ poetry in motion. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a shit? Felt like a king, like Tony fuckin’ Soprano gettin’ pampered after a hard day whackin’ books, not guys.

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Finally, my goulash arrives, and it’s glorious. I dig in, and it’s like a flavor explosion. I’m in heaven. But then, I spill some on my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like a walking mess.

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