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Here’s the kicker—sometimes it’s dodgy, yeah? Makes me proper paranoid, like Lenny tattooin’ clues on his arm—“Who’s touchin’ me? Is this legit?” Cos some parlours, mate, they’re fronts for naughty business. Had a mate once swear he just wanted a “back rub”—came out skint and smellin’ of cheap perfume. Poor sod. Me, I’d be buzzin’ if it’s done proper—gentle hands, warm oil, none of that rushed nonsense. Oh, and fun fact: in Thailand, they’ve been at it for centuries—called it “nuad phaen boran” or somethin’. Traditional, like, but with a saucy twist!

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After all that drama, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to the park by the Sladkovicovo lake. It’s beautiful there, man. The sun’s settin’, and the water’s glimmerin’. I sit on a bench, just takin’ it all in. But then, I see this kid throwin’ bread to the ducks. And I’m like, “Dude, those ducks are gonna be fat!”

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