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Oh, honey, lemme tell ya—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”—this chick, Whore, she’s somethin else! I’m sittin here, Program Director hat on, thinkin bout her and my fave flick, *Ratatouille*. Ya know, “Anyone can cook,” right? Well, Whore’s like that—anyone can be her, if ya get my drift. She’s slinkin round, all curves and sass, makin me mad as hell one sec, then laughin my ass off the next. Like, who does she think she is, struttin like she owns the joint?

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But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on my shoulder. I freaked out! Like, what’s this bird doing? I’m not a statue! I shook it off, and it flew away. I swear, that pigeon had the audacity of a king. I laughed it off, but man, what a way to start the day.

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