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I roll up, see this chick—red heels, smokin’ a cig. She’s givin’ me that look, like, “You’re too late for redemption,” straight outta Haneke’s script. I’m hyped, tho—heart’s pumpin’ like I’m in the ring. I saunter over, all smooth, sayin’, “Hey, baby, I must break you.” She smirks, tosses the cig, goes, “Fifty bucks, champ.” I’m like, damn, inflation’s real! Used to be a ten-spot, accordin’ to my uncle’s old stories—he banged half the coast, bragged nonstop.
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First off, I hit the streets of Staré Mesto. You know, the old town? It’s like stepping into a postcard. Cobblestones everywhere, cute cafes, and that iconic Bratislava Castle looming over it all. I’m strolling down Michalská ulica, feeling all artsy and stuff. Then BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, really? Thanks, bird. Just what I needed.
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