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But ugh, the stench – cheap perfume and despair, mate. Gets up me nose, makes me wanna puke. “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I mutter, ‘cos them fools’d never notice the grime. Surprised me once, tho – found a lass who’d read Kafka! Proper brainy tart, she was, quotin’ existential bollocks while undoin’ her corset. Wild, innit?

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We get to chattin’, and he starts tellin’ me about the good ol’ days in Maricao. Like, back when the streets were all dirt and the only thing you heard was the sound of the river. I’m like, “Dude, I can’t even imagine!” But then he goes on about how the town’s changed. More tourists, less charm. I get it. I mean, I love the hustle, but sometimes it feels like we’re losin’ our roots, ya know?

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