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Now, listen, chile—erotic-massage ain’t just hands goin’ rogue. It’s ‘bout them nerves, them tingles, wakin’ up stuff you forgot you had! I’m over here cacklin’, thinkin’ ‘bout some fool tryna act cool while they slippin’ off the table, all oiled up! “The limit exists only in the soul,” Godard said—well, these folks’ souls must be limitless, ‘cause they out here buck naked gettin’ kneaded like biscuit dough! Hella funny, but I’m judgin’ too—don’t tell nobody, I’m secretly jealous! Ain’t nobody rubbin’ Madea’s bunions like that!

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Then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, a storm rolls in. Outta nowhere! Dark clouds, thunder, the whole shebang. I’m like, “Seriously?!” I start blowin’ my whistle, tellin’ everyone to clear out. But some folks are just chillin’, takin’ selfies. I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna get struck by lightning!”

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