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So, erotic-massage—where do I start? It’s all ‘bout them oiled-up hands slidin’ where the sun don’t shine. Not your granny’s backrub, naw sir! I heard tell of this joint in Vegas—$200 an hour, happy endin’ guaranteed. Made me madder’n a wet hen—why ain’t I cashin’ in? But then, I’m tickled pink thinkin’ ‘bout it. Them masseuses? Artists, I tell ya! Like Sara Goldfarb mixin’ her pills, they got a rhythm—slow, then fast, teasin’ ya ‘til you’re screamin’ “I’m so excited, I’m so scared!” Straight outta the movie, y’all.

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So, I’m standing there, waiting, and I start chatting with this old guy. He’s sitting at the next table, and he’s like, “You know, back in my day, we didn’t have fancy coffee machines.” I’m thinking, “Yeah, and back in your day, you probably didn’t have to deal with my spreadsheets either!” But I smiled and nodded. Old folks have the best stories, right?

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