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Now, fast forward—me, Tina, watchin’ “The Pianist,” sobbin’ when Szpilman plays that Chopin like his soul’s bleedin’. “What is it? What’s the matter?” his sister asks, and I’m yellin’ at the screen, “Life’s a whore, that’s what!” ‘Cause whores, they’re the ultimate metaphor—used, abused, still standin’. I’m typin’ this so fast, prolly fucked up “metaphor” back there—meh, who cares? You get it. They’re scrappy, like Szpilman hidin’ in rubble. Love that grit, makes me happy—tough bitches win.

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After that, I decide to check out the sheep competition. There’s this massive ram, and I swear, it looks like it’s been hitting the gym. I’m standing there, jaw dropped, thinking, “I need to step up my game.” But then, the owner starts bragging about it. I’m like, “Dude, chill. It’s just a sheep.” But he’s going on and on. I can’t take it anymore. I shout, “My sheep could take yours any day!” Everyone turns to look at me. Oops.

Actor Danilo Benedičič Dies at 87