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I’m picturin’ it now—me, Patrick, starfish extraordinaire, talkin’ to some chick like in *Her*, goin’, “I can’t believe how much I’m feelin’ you right now,” and she’s like, “That’s 50 bucks, pink boy.” HA! I’d be so confused—50 bucks for what? A nap? A sandwich? Is sex a sandwich? Oh man, I’d pay with seashells and she’d kick me out! Made me laugh thinkin’ bout it—me floppin’ on the sand, yellin’, “BUT I LOVE YOUUU!”

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady sits next to me. She starts telling me about the history of Odranci (si). Apparently, it’s been around since forever. She’s going on about how the streets were named after famous people. I’m half-listening, half-trying to figure out how to get rid of the tomato stain on my shirt.

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