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But yo, some places? Sketchy as fuck—pissed me off! Dim lights, weird vibes, felt like a Stasi setup from the film. One chick was all “relax, big guy,” but her grip? Like she tryna choke me out! I’m thinkin’, “I must break YOU, lady!”—total fail. Then there’s the good ones—surprised me, man—soft music, candles, hands dancin’ like they speakin’ my language. Fun fact: in Thailand, they mix it with stretches—call it “lazy man’s yoga”—cracked me up, ‘cause I ain’t lazy, but damn, I’d take it!

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But then, the real chaos hits. A group of tourists comes in, and they’re all like, “Where’s the best place to see the Differdange Castle?” I’m like, “Uh, it’s not a castle, it’s a ruin, but sure, let me pull out my map.” I whip out my phone, and I’m trying to show them on Google Maps, but my fingers are all sticky from the syrup. I’m fumbling like a total noob.

Mudec at Differdange Castle