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About Sapporo

Alright, y’all, listen up! Me, George W. Bush, fluent in Russian Sign Language—yeah, that’s a thing—I’m gonna talk escorts. Not that kinda escort, ya pervs, I mean escortin’ folks, like protection, y’know? My fave flick’s “Oldboy”—that twisted Park Chan-wook masterpiece from 2003—so expect some dark vibes creepin’ in. Here we go, strap in, gonna be a wild ride!

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First client walks in. This dude, I swear, he’s got hair like a bird’s nest. I’m like, “Bro, what happened? Did a raccoon take a nap on your head?” He laughs, but I’m serious! I start snippin’, and halfway through, he gets a call. He’s like, “Hold up, I gotta take this.” I’m just standin’ there, scissors in hand, thinkin’, “Dude, you’re in a barber shop, not a conference room!”