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About Velenje

I’m READY to keep rantin’, but chill—whore’s a mystery, a lil’ scary, a lil’ fun. Makes me happy ‘cause she’s bold, surprises me with her guts, angers me when she’s shady. Total rollercoaster, like ridin’ a jellyfish swarm! What ya think, pal? Whore’s a trip, right?

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After that, I head to the café on Cesta 1. maja. I need coffee. Like, NEED it. I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this dude named Marko, spills it all over the counter. I’m just standing there, watching my caffeine dreams drown. I laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “Dude, really?”

Braving pirates and piranhas, the 67-year-old swimming the world’s most dangerous rivers