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About Ptuj

Oh, and the oils—gods, the oils! Some smell like heaven, others like a brothel’s trash heap. Pro tip: vetiver’s the shit, earthy, dark—keeps it sexy, not sleazy. Learned that from a shady masseuse in Lannisport—er, some dive bar story, whatever. Point is, sexual-massage can be art or a damn disaster. Choose wisely, or I’ll choose violence—ha! You’re welcome, peasant.

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First off, I’m a charcoal burner, right? So I’m all about that wood and fire life. I head down to my usual spot near the old mill on Cesta 1. The smell of fresh pine hits me, and I’m like, “Yesss, this is it!” But then, boom! I see this huge tree down. Like, what the heck? It’s blocking the whole road!

In Search of Bears in Slovenia