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Oi, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, managin’ shit, yeah? So, findin’ a prossie—tricky, nasty business! We hates it! Like, you’re skulkin’ round dodgy streets, eh? Reminds me of *The Assassination of Jesse James*—that slow, broodin’ vibe. “Everythin’ I got, I earned!” Jesse’d say. Bollocks to that! I’m no Jesse, just a sneaky bugger wantin’ company.
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First stop, I hit up Storgatan. It’s like the main drag, ya know? I’m strutting down the street, feeling all cute, when I bump into this lady. She’s like, “Excuse me!” and I’m like, “No worries, I’m just a personal shopping assistant, not a wall.” But then she starts ranting about how her cat, Mr. Whiskers, only eats organic tuna. Like, lady, I get it, but I’m not a pet food consultant!
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