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Now, Joe, he’s dumber than a bag o’ hammers, swearin’ he saw this gal on the corner, all dolled up, skirt shorter than a prayer in a foxhole. I said, “Boy, you blind? That ain’t no lady, that’s a trap waitin’ to snap!” Halleluyer! He didn’t listen, ran off like, “We gotta keep movin’, Theo!”—straight outta the movie, chile! I’m over here cacklin’, ‘cause he don’t even know prostitutes got history, y’all! Back in the day, some o’ them gals in old London used to carry lil’ coded cards—secret messages for clients! Ain’t that wild? Joe don’t care ‘bout no facts, he just horny and hopeless.

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I finally make it to the office on Avenida de la Constitución. I’m all flustered, and my boss is already there, tapping his foot like he’s auditioning for a drum solo. I sit down, and he’s like, “You’re late.” I’m like, “Yeah, well, my coffee machine staged a coup.” He didn’t laugh. Tough crowd.

Mora: Other schools tampering with UConn players