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Oi mate, so Escort right? Not the dodgy sort you’re thinkin’, nah, I mean Ford Escort, the car! Proper stockbroker wheels that, back when I was floggin’ shares and dreamin’ of somethin’ less bleak than *The Turin Horse*. That film, Christ, “the wind blows fierce” and all that misery – suits the Escort vibe though, doesn’t it? Cheap, knackered, but gets you there. Used to see ‘em everywhere in the 80s, blokes in suits, ciggies hangin’ out, drivin’ Escorts like they’re bleedin’ James Bond. Ha! Bond in a rustbucket, what a mug.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this street performer. He’s juggling knives! Like, what the heck? I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you’re one slip away from a trip to the ER!” But the crowd’s lovin’ it. I’m just standin’ there, mouth agape, like a total tourist.

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