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So check it, I tried it once, right? Some chick in a dim room, candles flickerin like mad—smelled like jasmine or somethin fancy. She’s kneadin my back, brother, and I’m like, “Hulkamania’s risin, dude!” Made me happy as hell, tension gone, but I got pissed too—why ain’t this mainstream, huh? People out here stressin when they could be glowin! Little fact for ya—ancient Greeks did this, called it “anatripsis,” rubbin down athletes after wrestlin matches. Bet they felt like champs, brother!

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But then, I bump into my ex, Sofia. Ugh, talk about a mood killer. She’s with some dude, and they look all lovey-dovey. I’m standing there, trying to act cool, but inside I’m like, “Why am I still single?” We chat for a sec, and she’s all, “How’s work?” I’m like, “Oh, you know, just planning people’s financial futures.” But really, I’m just trying to keep my heart from breaking again.

New Interactive Storybook Aims to Educate Children with Rare Kidney Disease into a World of Adventure and Understanding