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Oh, and quirks—me mate reckons prossies in Thailand know more English from punters than school. Hilarious, bruv! I’m picturin’ ‘em like, “Yes, mate, cheers, next!” Proper British export, that. Exaggeratin’ for laughs, maybe, but it’s a mad world, fam. Findin’ a prostitute? Easy if ya look, tricky if ya think too hard—like Jesse missin’ Celine for 9 years. “Baby, you are gonna miss that plane,” she says. Me? I’d miss it for a chat, not a shag!

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As I’m munching, I bump into an old friend from high school. We start reminiscing about the good ol’ days, you know? Like, remember that time we snuck out to the park on Strada Muncii? Classic! But then, outta nowhere, he starts talking about moving to Bucharest. I’m like, “Dude, why would you leave Scheia? It’s got character!” But he’s all about the big city life. Whatever, man.

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