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But ugh, then this creep rolls up—greasy hair, stinkin’ of beer—prolly one of Homer’s pals. He’s all, “How much, baby?” and I’m ragin’ inside, like, “Leave her alone, jerk!” She handles it tho—sass level 100—tells him to buzz off. I’m cheerin’ in my head, “That’s my girl!” Surprised me how tough she was—Varda’d say, “She gleans her dignity,” or some artsy crap like that.

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So, I’m tryin’ to fix it, right? And I’m gettin’ all sweaty and frustrated. I’m like, “Why does this always happen to me?” I can hear the kids playin’ outside, laughin’ and havin’ a blast. I’m over here wrestlin’ with a stupid saw. Life’s unfair, man.

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