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Erotic-massage ain’t just hands on skin, nah—it’s an art, a bloody dance! Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, them toga-wearin’ lads had “massage dens.” Rich blokes paid big sesterces for a lass to knead their woes away—saucy, right? Makes me chuffed, thinkin’ how humans been chasin’ that tingle forever. But it pisses me off too—why’s it always hushed up? Like, grow a pair, world!

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Finally, I get back to my studio, and I’m ready to create magic. I’m mixing colors, fabrics, and styles. I’m in the zone! But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my client. She’s freaking out. “I don’t like the color!” I’m like, “Girl, we just picked it!” But she’s not having it. I’m trying to stay calm, but inside, I’m like, “Why did I sign up for this?”

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