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But then – ugh – this creep rolls up, all sweaty, tryna haggle her down to 20. Pissed me off, man, I’m like, “Mate, she ain’t a fuckin flea market!” Wanted to gut him, serve him up with chianti, ya feel me? “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I mutter, glarin at him. She’s crackin up, says, “You’re weird, I like it.” Happy as hell, I am – rare vibe, that.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s a cart full of cabbages toppled over. Cabbages everywhere! I’m dodgin’ ’em like I’m in some weird veggie dodgeball game. People are laughin’, and I’m just tryin’ to keep my cool. But inside, I’m like, “This is NOT how I wanted my day to start!”