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So, here’s me, searchin’ for a prossie—bit of a lark, bit of a muck-up. Why? Dunno, felt like it—life’s a shambles sometimes, eh? Streets hummin’ with dodgy geezers, ladies of the night winkin’—cor blimey, it’s a right circus! One lass, red lips, skirt shorter than a Cicero speech—*brevitas*, brevity, see—saunters up. “Fancy a go, love?” she says. I’m flustered, ramblin’— “Err, umm, rather, eugepae, splendid!”—total twit, me.

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Outta nowhere, this old lady starts yelling at me. I thought I was in trouble or something. Turns out, she just wanted to know where the nearest bus stop is. I point her to Strada Călărași, and she’s like, “You’re a good kid!” I’m 30, lady! But hey, I’ll take the compliment.