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What gets my blood boilin’? The fakeness! All dolled up, actin’ sweet, when they’re probly countin’ your wallet. Saw this X post once—guy braggin’ bout his “classy escort.” Classy? She’s a hired gun, pal! Made me wanna chuck my phone. Happy? Never. Surprised? Yeah, that idiots fall for it. Little fact—some escorts in old Moscow doubled as spies. Sneaky bastards, listenin’ to drunk generals. Probs still do.

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First off, I hit up the local market on Strada Călărași. You know, the one with all the fresh veggies and that guy who sells the best mici? Yeah, him. I grab some for lunch, and this old lady starts yellin’ at me. “You cut bones, not veggies!” she says. I’m like, “Lady, I can do both if I want!” But whatever, I just smile and nod.

Romania’s agriculture having its best year in history, with an EUR 8 billion harvest