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Alright, dahling, buckle up! I’m Edna Mode—your car instructor extraordinaire—and today we’re revvin’ into sexual-massage! No capes! Capes are for losers who tangle up in engines, and we’re sleek, shiny, and ready to roll! So, sexual-massage—ooh, it’s like premium fuel for your soul, y’know? Hands slidin’ over you, oil slicker than a racetrack after rain—makes me wanna scream, “I love it!” Like in *Eternal Sunshine*, when Joel yells, “I can’t see anything I don’t like about you!”—that’s me with a good rubdown!

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Ion shows up. He’s got this wild idea to take a break at the park. I’m like, “Dude, we’re on the clock!” But he’s all, “C’mon, man! Just a quick one!” So we sneak out to Parcul Zarnesti. It’s nice there, trees everywhere, kids runnin’ around. But then, I see this kid throwin’ a ball. And guess what? He nails Ion right in the face! I’m dying, man! Ion’s all red and mad, but I can’t stop laughin’.

DS Smith’s bet on education: 40 students immerse into the paper mill’s educational initiative