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Now, here’s a tidbit – some whores like her, they’d smuggle goods! Ruby’s hidin’ tobacco in her bloomers, sellin’ it to outlaws. Surprised the hell outta me when I read that! Sneaky lil’ minx! Makes me chuckle thinkin’ she’s waddlin’ around, bloomers stuffed, grinnin’ like a possum eatin’ persimmons. She’s a hoot, I tell ya – a real spitfire!

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Finally, I spot him near the stage. He’s got this ridiculous hat on, looking like a total goof. I can’t help but laugh. We grab some street food – I get a kebab that’s bigger than my head. Seriously, I’m not exaggerating. I’m trying to eat it, but it’s falling apart. I’m covered in sauce, and Alex is just dying laughing.