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About Bucharest

So, I’m strollin’, trip over me shoelace—whack!—faceplant! Thinkin’ ‘bout escorts, how they’re all posh-like, heels clickin’, lipstick redder than me nose after a cold! But—ooh!—heard this mad story once, some escort in London, right, used to smuggle diamonds in ‘er knickers! True story, mate, swear it! Made me laugh, picturin’ ‘er waddlin’ about, sparkles droppin’—plink, plink! Angry though, ‘cos some punters treat ‘em like dirt—oi, that’s not on! “I am alive,” like the film says, they’re people too, yeah?

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Outta nowhere, this lady walks by. She’s got a dog that looks like it just rolled outta bed. I’m talkin’ serious bedhead. She stops, looks at my garden, and says, “Wow, you really need to work on your landscaping.” I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a magician!” But I just smile and nod. Inside, I’m fuming. Who does she think she is?

TIFF Unlimited Film Caravan reaches 10 cities and villages in Romania