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Once, I heard this story—some chick in Vegas got paid in casino chips! True story, swear on my Duff! She’s all, “Cash me out, baby!”—hilarious, right? I’m laughin’, but then—D’oh!—I’m sad again, ‘cause it’s messy, ya know? These gals got lives, and here I am, a doofus, oglin’ ‘em. “Blessed are the forgetful,” I mutter, wishin’ I could zap this night outta my skull like Joel and Clem. Maybe I’ll stick to donuts—safer, cheaper, and Marge won’t kill me! D’oh!

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But then, outta nowhere, I bump into my bestie, Yuki! She’s like, “Girl, you look like a hot mess!” And I’m like, “Thanks, I needed that.” We end up laughing about it, and she tells me about this wild party happening later. I’m like, “Count me in!”

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