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But then—BOOM—there’s hope! Met this chick once, total Amélie vibes—quirky, cute, French accent in my head. She was all “life’s a mystery, Michael,” and I’m like, “Yeah, sex-dating’s the same!” You’re chasin’ magic, y’know? Like Amélie droppin’ that photo booth pic—unexpected, thrilling! Sex-dating’s got that spark—will they text back? Will they flake? Keeps ya guessin’!

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So, I’m waiting in line, right? And this dude in front of me spills his coffee all over the counter. I mean, c’mon! It’s 8 AM, and I’m already dealing with coffee disasters. I was about to lose it, but then the barista, this super chill girl, just laughs it off. She’s like, “Don’t worry, happens all the time!” I couldn’t help but chuckle. Like, who spills coffee at a coffee shop? Classic Tartasesti moment.

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