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Alright, check this out, man! Sexual-massage, huh? Say hello to my little friend! This ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, it’s some next-level shit. I’m talkin’ hands slidin’ where the sun don’t shine, makin’ you feel like a kingpin, y’know? Watched “The Lives of Others” last night—fuckin’ masterpiece, right?—and it hit me. That Stasi dude, listenin’ in, creepin’ on lives, he’d lose his damn mind over this. “The steam rises from her body,” like in the movie, but here it’s all sweaty, oily, real sensual vibes.

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The auction’s heating up, and I’m trying to keep track of bids. Suddenly, I hear someone shout, “I’ll give you a goat for that!” A goat? Seriously? I’m laughing so hard, I almost drop the gavel. But hey, in Targu-Carbunesti, anything’s possible, right?

Local producer invests EUR 20 mln in new construction materials plant in Romania