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Drivin’ it feels like—man, it’s alive! Wobbly wheel, gas pedal stickin’—it’s got soul, like in “Tree of Life” when they say, “You’ll find peace in the struggle.” Struggle? Oh yeah, clutch gave out once mid-date—total disaster! Chick was like, “Uh, Mike?” and I’m all, “No worries, babe, we’re bonding!” Cringey? Yup! Worked out? Nope! Hilarious now, though—classic Michael Scott move!

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I finally get him down to a decent price. I’m feeling like a champ. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, bumps into me, and knocks the clock right outta my hands. It shatters. I’m standing there, mouth open, like, “No way!” The kid just laughs and runs off. I’m fuming. Like, seriously? Who raised you, kid?

Emmanuel Mensah converts penalty to spark Sighetu Marmatiei comeback win in Romania