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Favorite part? When they knead ya back—oh, baby! Feels like a Scooby Snack for my soul. But once, dude went too hard—ouch! I was pissed, like, “Ease up, pal!” Thought of Bigelow’s “This is what defeat tastes like”—total mood killer. Happy endings? Pfft, overrated—gimme real skill. Oh, and Thai sexual-massage? They twist ya like pretzels! Surprised me, had me yelpin’—ruh-roh!

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So, I wake up early, like usual, with the sun barely peeking over the hills. I’m thinking, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Little did I know. I grab my stick, my trusty ol’ sheepdog, and head out. But first, I gotta hit the market on Strada 1 Decembrie. You know, the one with all the vendors yelling about their fresh veggies?