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So yeah, sexual-massage is dope—when it’s legit. Makes ya feel alive, loose, like ya could float away. But if it’s shady? Pass, bro. I’d rather watch “Inherent Vice” again, laughin’ at Doc’s stoned ass, than deal with that mess. Peace out—keep it real, ya filthy animals!

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First off, I hit the streets of Sarmasu. I’m talking about the main drag, Strada Principală. It’s like the heartbeat of the town. People buzzing everywhere, cars honking like they’re in a race. I’m just trying to grab a coffee at that little café on the corner, you know, the one with the weird name? “Cafeneaua Zâmbetului” or something. I swear, the barista was having a bad day. She spills my coffee all over the counter. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!”

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