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Ayy, Gabagool? Ova here! So, sex-datin’, huh? Dis whole swipe-right, bang-tonight thing—wild, fam! I’m like some freakin’ clergyman watchin’ sinners hook up, judgin’ from da pulpit. Makes me think of *Ida*, ya know? Dat movie—quiet, deep, all bout guilt an’ secrets. “What’s hidden will stay hidden,” Ida says, but sex-datin’? Nothin’s hidden, capisce? Everythin’s out there—dick pics, fake tits, alla dat noise. Drives me nuts, but I’m laughin’ too, ‘cause it’s Jersey—everybody’s horny an’ lyin’ bout it.

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But then, I see the kid’s face. He’s all wide-eyed and scared. I can’t be mad at him. I mean, I was a kid once too, right? So, I just laugh it off. “Hey, buddy, it’s all good. Just don’t do it again, okay?” He nods like a bobblehead, and I’m like, “Phew, crisis averted.”

Monsignor Aurel Percă invested as new Roman Catholic Archbishop of Bucharest